Disconnected

Yes things have been complicated around. Picture 90s to be more simpler? Stop yourself from running, pause and read this. 

The essense of simplicity lies with these misjudged parameters. Its the simple confusion of you getting used to them around you that their purpose have turned out to be more materialistic. 

Smell the beautiful fragnance of the rememberance around you. Is it the wet earth? Or is it a memory of the past picturing you with the feel of missed touch. Dont let this thing get onto you. 

As I said pause for a moment, close your eyes, take yourself back to innocence. Move your hands slowly in air, feel the touch you can sense. Bring in the patience to touch and feel every life around you. 

> You looking your tongue in the mirror colored orange after having orange candy 

> Your first day at school 

> The cricket match where you feel you made a difference 

> Watching your favourite band live

> Feeling of seeing someone smiling at the very moment you pictured them to.

............

Complicated is it? Observe how simple it was for you to feel it.

Heads = Tails. Reverse Polarization

You called for heads and it tails you.
Just look around you for a second in a crowded vicinity. Every life around you has a second to breathe and understand the problem and let go. Its just not you under the pressure of your own tensions, the world around you behaves in equal sense. So once you go in your own thoughts the world around you seems strange and mute. Eventually the things around you face substantially less impact at the point of your pain relatively. Nevertheless the pinch is equally the same. You are driven by the situation that drives your mind to not react to it like an ultimate bang! (as the previous pinch) which is still pertaining and influencing you. You ignored the sense of the pain coz its relatively less, weird but true.

You called for heads and it heads you up.
A smile on a kid's face to get what he desired is touch of innocence. May be I taking you around the loop of the time when things were just extending hands away, that wouldn't have been fun to achieve. The moment of tough times to achieve something is really the one that teaches us to smile. Once we get that, the easy brain makes you forget for the small happiness that you would have achieved during the same fraction of your life. This ignorance is just relative to the massive happiness of extravagant, the one you achieved.
Wait a second, Isnt this Reverse Polarized Image of Tails? What just happened?

You tossed and its in the Air
Neutral Sense of Ignorance and Optimistic Smile of Belief. Small happiness to look forward to.


I never asked for heads or tails when I tossed the coin in the air......

Since Its really difficult to stop thinking

How does a thing loose its value?

Day 1, thing shines as new, emotions are well intact and the excitement peaks up the adrenaline thrust to prove different, but its still new. Day 10, You make yourself comfortable to the shiny new thing in the market and start getting adjusted with it. Day 25, you conclude by making it your habit to have it around you. You are enjoying the new shiny thing. Day 90, The thing is just lying somewhere and you are just least bothered about it. Day 120, You find a replacement for it.

So how did it actually loose its value? Whenever we get something new, the new thing does have a value in our mind. What matters is that you are convinced for it to have an importance. Gradually as the things move on, you realize that you just hyped it to some extent and this continues until you run into an infinity loop of finding another replacement which lights up in your eyes and you desire to have it.

Look at Day 1500 or Day 2500 or Someday when you open up your old carton stacked and ignored. You unfold the folds of the top cover with a smile to realize the regaining value of old shiny thing. Ironic!

Since Its really difficult to stop thinking

Confidence Breakdown.

As I stood up from my chair, I walked across the white board which imprinted a genuine piece of invention. The logic behind the equation was clear and it missed a missing piece of the puzzle. The red color on the white board contrasted with the plain background. The thought was to clear up the equations and restrict the values to zero which just went vague with the Denominator of 0. A piece of this crafted equation was messed up pretty badly. "Whats going on? Just the last leg. Finish it damnit", I said to myself.

Just from a little distance my colleague shouted, 'lets call it a day!'. I generally drove back home with him and two other guys. I immediately replied back nodding to his statement. I desperately needed more time for this.

Nearly ten minutes went down since he stated to leave for home. I was still at the same piece of the problem but what got worse, the crawling to the last leg of the race was taken aback with a pits stop in midst. I erased a few numbers without even thinking of the consequence. 'Ahh... I wished for it to complete before we left', told my friend. He just smiled back. 'Well I think you shouldn't break your head on the problem at the end of the day', he replied. Somewhere he was right.

When you so desperately want something to work, you would do anything for it. I couldnt keep myself resting and believing the problem wasnt figured out. I knew the final solution, I was inventing the path to it. I thought of it just as I hit the bed; right before catching sleep; moments after I woke up. There was this faction of time, and it struck me: I was forgetting the earlier part of the equation, the numbers were fading. I started to look more confused on the problem. As an analogy, think of closing in the dark spaces without anything stated there. The purpose for you being there is unknown. So how did you reach there and what lies ahead? I was smirking at myself. This was rock bottom of my confidence!!.

When I reached back at my desk, I was at the same place but the things had changed. I made myself realize one thing, 'I have hit the worst of this. All I can do is bounce back from here'. A food for self regaining.
Whether I got the solution to my equation became a different story after all.